A comment on marriage that I'll listen to.
Online pal Sabra posted a comment that's too damned profound to be lost in the comments section of my last blog post:
I think most of the "we grew apart" divorces could be prevented, if the people want to.I agree with love and respect, but I have to point out that both genders want both things.
In hindsight, a LOT of what went wrong in my marriage boiled down to: I was so hurt and so lonely that I ignored my husband's pain and loneliness in favor of my own, as he ignored mine in favor of his. Which came first? Doesn't really matter in the long run. But if we'd been as nice to each other during our marriage as we learned to be during our separation, things probably would've been different.
Labels: Adulthood, answer, marriage, public service message
posted by Matt G @ 9:11 AM
5 Comments:
Yep. I mulled over saying something about the love and respect thing yesterday- and my musings were aborted in favor of happily accepting my spouse's proposal to run off for the day doing fun stuff together- but it's true: both essential ingredients, but for both genders, and they're difficult to tease apart so far as I'm concerned. I can conceive of great love without great respect, and great respect without great love- but not in this kind of relationship.
I have to agree. In fact, I'll admit that we've had to do some work on our marriage this year. A million little things added up.
We caught ourselves and made the decision that we were going to fix it, though. Life is much better at the moment.
The other thing I noticed with my former marriage, if you both don't try to make it work, it isn't going to.
Good answer Sabra.
I totally agree. Married couples tend to more polite to strangers on the street than they are to each other - and that's a shame.
I feel the same. My marriage is at a crossroads. Kids leaving etc. I'm talking more to my husband on what I need, he didn't have a clue. We just went on our merry way through life. It's very easy to just go on and get bored etc. Now it seems we have work to do.
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