Hurt feelings
I've cut him breaks before.
I've counseled him before.
I've dropped by his house and checked on his status, before.
On this particular night, I had to pull him over again.
And he lied to me.
And I told him I had caught him.
And he lied to me again.
And I told him that I had caught him, and gave him another chance.
And he lied to me again, and threw his friends under the bus.
And I arrested him. Gently.
And I took him to the P.D. Carefully.
And I sat him down without cuffs. Unsafely.
And I read him his rights. Dutifully.
And I asked him to write me a statement. Dutifully.
And he threw his friends and family under the bus. Legibly.
And I witnessed his signature to his confession. Dutifully.
And I began the book-in paperwork. Stolidly.
And he began to complain. Childishly.
And I continued with the paperwork, moving on to his PC affidavit. Studiously.
And he continued to complain. Viciously.
And I continued to write his rather lengthy PC affidavit. Doggedly.
And he began to hurl insults. Personally.
And I placed him in handcuffs. Safely.
And he continued to spit personal insults. Vitriolically.
And I called for another officer to join me. Blandly.
And he proceeded to come up with new attacks. Ichorously.
And the other officer arrived. Dutifully.
And the prisoner attacked him. Verbally.
And the officer engaged. Verbally.
And I intervened. Peacefully.
And I calmed the boy down. Reasonably.
And I turned back to my paperwork. Haggardly.
And he began the verbal abuse again. Insistently.
And he made veiled comments about our personal lives. Threateningly.
And I warned him not to say anything that could get him in trouble. Evenly.
And he calmed right down. Temporarily.
And he cast wild aspersions about our character. Blindly.
And we chuckled about the inaccuracy. Wryly.
And I transferred him to the transport officer. Gladly.
And I buckled him into the cruiser. Carefully.
And I wished him good luck. Sincerely.
And I clocked out, went home, and drank a beer. Unhappily.
Labels: day at the office, duty, excuses, fibbing, Gripes, musing
14 Comments:
Before folks begin with the "you can't bring it home with you, dude...", please remember that it's the same humanity that let me cut the guy breaks in the first place and try to help him, that makes me take it a little personally when he attacks me and others for finally calling in our markers. I can be inhuman, and never consider the breaks, or human, and be a little hurt when I am punished for having issued the breaks.
Sounds like an addict... I personally refuse to interact with addicts any more than is necessary because they are by definition selfish and manipulative. If I am incorrect in my assumption, please disregard, but I doubt I am.
It's not black or white. You don't have to be inhuman or a pushover. Not knowing any of the details, perhaps some thought (not that you haven't already done so) about where you should place yourself in that scale is in order. Maybe a small amount of heart hardening is in order for self preservation.
that's the night when you're supposed to drink 2 beers.
Sometimes your job just sucks. I don't envy you.
But I am sure you're the right guy for the job.
Forget "you can't bring it home with you." I don't think it's possible. You can't NOT bring it home with you at least sometimes.
You'll get no grief from me, sir. Sometimes you get it. Sometimes it gets you. Such is life.
But we've got your back either way.
tweaker
Is all this somelthing like, "No good deed goes unpunished?" Are you now reflecting that, if you'd just gone strictly "by the book" to start with, the end result would have been the same? But in that case, you wouldn't have invested your own, personal, confidence and hopes that this, THIS, one would turn out okay.
And are you mebbe wondering how you could have misjudged this badly, placing your confidence in such an unworthy person?
Well, NO ONE of us is infallible. We've all made mistakes, and those still in the game will prolly make new ones later on. But you can try to look at it this way: Sometimes your job, your bounden duty, and the law allow you some range of discretion. Sometimes you exercise this, in line with your own moral judgement, thinking: "THIS one might be worth saving." In such case, you make your own decision as to how the odds will balance out. If you NEVER exercise the option to temper justice with compassion, then you'll never know. By being hard-nosed within the law and guidelines, you'll never be wrong. But you'll give up the chance that you might be extra RIGHT from time to time.
There's no real help in these words from an old curmudgeon who's misjudged his own share over the years. But, when you do exercise this humanity and compassion, just DON'T turn your back on 'em.
Best,
Da'
Forgive only once. Then reply in kind after that once.
It will save you a lot of heartache.
If you forgive twice or more, it will be seen as softheadedness, as well as training the idiot he can get away with crap.
Just my $0.02
I congratulate you for your restraint. After all, I'm sure you wanted to beat him. Brutally.
You are a good man MattG, and people in your line of work rarely get to see us, the general public, at our best.
Why unhappily. You did your job and you did not lose your cool. What more can a citizen ask of a good cop?
You could have probably lost your temper, given him the beatdown and gotten away with it. Instead you walked away the better man.
Ease up on yourself man. Enjoy your beer.
Joe
I feel for you. You're a good person.
I love you, man.
Your humanity is cool, good, awesome, human. It means you can't divorce yourself from feelings. That's okay, as long as you do the right thing, as you understand it.
John
Sometimes you just want them to prove you wrong. That they do pull themselves up by the bootstraps, take the chance you've given them and do something good with it. Sometimes it sucks to be right.
what dneylon said, the job is a manure pile sometimes. But you are one of the rare few I actually believe can do it......
I love this particular piece...and so true! Kudos to you for not giving in and beating his ass like a lot I know...I'll buy ya the next post-shift beer. Cheers!
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