In a more perfect world...
...Al Gore would be made to hand back in his Nobel Peace Prize, and it would be re-awarded to Luvine Holmes, the founder of the greatness that is Holmes Smokehouse Pecan Smoked Sausage. It's made of beef, which ought to assuage the pork-hating cultures, and bring this world together. (At least until they see what the casing is made of.)
Please note the first two ingredients in this only slightly modified photo of the packaging:
It has texture, but not too much. It's frickin' incredible. And the jalapeño version is even better. At the very least, Obama needs to be penciling in a Rose Garden presentation of a Medal Of Freedom to Holmes by about January 23rd. You know, after he's settled in and all.