I've been bugged by a little pimple-like thing in my eyelid for the last couple of months. The first doctor proclaimed it to be a "Stye In The Eye." I checked his name tag; it said "Garcia," rather than "Seuss."
So I took his oral antibiotics and topical steroid religiously for the full course and.... found that my irritation persisted.
So I saw an opthamologist. This guy was wiser in the ways of eyes. He proved it by using words like "sclera" and "conjuntiva" when referring to what lesser humans would call the "white of the eye." I, in turn, dazzled him with my explanation of how a cruller is different from an ordinary donut.
So Dr. Eye Guy said that I had not a stye, but a chalazion. (No, mine looked nothing like the one in the picture. Eww.)
He recommended minor, in-office surgery, to hack that bad boy out.
Well, it says here that fixing a chalazion is pretty benign stuff:
"The minor operation is quite painless, the eyelid is injected with a local anesthetic a clamp is put on the eyelid, then the eyelid is turned over and the chalazion is scraped out."Lying.
What with the injections and the eye speculum (how very Clockwork Orange), I can tell you that I was just a South American doctor with a German accent away from full-scale torture.
But he seems to've fixed the damned thing.
Now I get to pay him for the privelidge. Feh.
Did I ever mention my ocular phobia? I don't like things touching my eye.