Unsolicited marital advice:
"Hey, everybody's looking at new ways to put some spice into their marriage, right? And don't you deserve it? I mean, hey-- you're the one who has to live with her folks until you get on your feet financially. And after 3 years, it's time to diversify, right? I mean, right?!?"
Uh, sure. But how about this:
Wait 'til you sober up.
And your (extremely attractive, BTW) wife is sober.
And then consider to yourself:
"Is this really a good idea to suggest?
...With my best friend's girlfriend?
...Who's also my wife's girlfriend?
...Who's never shown any interest in me,
more less my wife,
less still my wife and me?"
You really think that'd be a real good idea?
'Cuz, I'm just sayin'-- the end results don't look good.
Personally, I'm a big fan of weighing those t i n y little benefits against the HUGE risks. And I think, if you'll do that on this occasion, you'll find that inaction would be much, much more preferable.
Because, just like bullets from a gun, "Honey, I'd like to have a three-way with your best friend" is a phrase that you'll never be able to take back.
I'm just saying, is all.
Labels: day at the office, drunks, marriage, public service message
posted by Matt G @ 6:00 AM
7 Comments:
Whooo, boy. Better watch that first step, that's a big one.
I don't think the average married woman needs to be told that, in a consequence-free world, her husband would sleep with her friends, her sisters, and any other willing woman who happened along. Women seem to have sussed out this and several other basic facts of male psychology for themselves long ago.
Anyway, they don't really need you to tell them that. Your advice is good. Fun is fun, but the sun always comes up the next day. And we all tend to think that if we just get that one more thing, life will settle in and we can just cruise along happily. Life doesnt' do that. Life is chaotic and frustrating. I'm now mentioning Paris Hilton twice in one week, but still, look at Paris Hilton. She's got enough money not to really have to notice what she spends. Anything she really wants, she can buy. She will not go broke no matter what she does because she lives off the interest from her "living trusts." She can have any variation of sex she wants with almost anyone she would choose (after her 40-day hiatus.) In short, she has all the money and all the sex. She should be the happiest person in America, if most of us have our priorities straight.
Does Paris Hilton strike you as the happiest person in America? Me neither.
LMAO....
But on a more serious note, referencing the above comment:
I don't think the average married woman needs to be told that, in a consequence-free world, her husband would sleep with her friends, her sisters, and any other willing woman who happened along. Women seem to have sussed out this and several other basic facts of male psychology for themselves long ago.
True, women have sussed out this fact of male psychology and that's exactly why I don't date more than I do - which is rarely. I can't accept that "fact"because that fact alone makes it hard to trust you guys. Doubt I'll ever be able to.
I had a girlfriend once who asked me about that kind of stuff.
No, not that way.
It was more of a 'when would you ever consider...' My response, 'hell no, with my luck, you would toss me to the curb for the other chick!'
Sorry, Babs. There are several facets of the female mind that don't work for us, either.
I could get myself into real trouble here, but my favorite is the ability to say, with a straight face, "No, I won't have sex with you, my husband, because I don't feel attractive."
Well . . . . hmm.
But we're stuck with each other until that guy in England perfects his bone-marrow-stem-cells-into-sperm-cells process. When that's done, you won't need the knuckle-draggers anymore.
LOL Don, I haven't been a wife in a very long time so I can't answer for that one. But I can't say that I ever used that excuse. Usually, if memory serves, it was more along the lines of, "I've lost all respect for you, you won't hold a job, you take me for granted, I am TIRED so leave me the hell alone and let me get some sleep so I can support your lazy ass. Two jobs, two toddlers, and you wonder why I pass out the second my head hits the pillow?"
Okay so that's not what I said, it's just what I didn't say. Of course the approach left a lot to be desired too.
You should oughta said it. I cringed a little just reading it.
OK, so How'd it go?
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