From the "Boy, was Heinlein right!" deparment:
"Everybody lies about sex."
Why? Well, have you got a semester or two to discuss the sociological, psychological, and theological reasons? I'm beginning to think that there's a biological reason, too. As in, something physical within ourselves actually makes humans lie, when the topic is sex. And the sad thing is, it's the lying more than the sex that causes more disarray. "...It was he coverup."
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Wanna see that dynamic go into hyperdrive? Check out the way adolescents deal with it.
Daaaayummmm!
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I have never heard such of a pack of lies before in my life.
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One of my biggest objections to drug use these days is that its illicit nature turns users into liars. This seems to be that natural order of things-- prohibited activity requires lying. Adolescents in decent homes in our society are prohibited from engaging in this activity. Take, say, a 14 year old and confront him with his father present about having sex, and he may very well deny that such an activity exists.
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The funniest scene in the horrible old cult favorite Weird Science is when Kelly LeBrock (yum) confronts one of the teenaged boys' parents with a discussion of his solo sexual experience, with the boy literally screaming his feeble denials.
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But at least the kids have an excuse.
posted by Matt G @ 5:31 AM
7 Comments:
Why would anyone lie about sex??? (Except to avoid getting in trouble with overbearing parents, of course.)
John, you're one of the most genuine, open, sincere people I know....
...And I guarentee that, on some level, even you do, even now.
Bah. I tell some people some things are none of their business, but that's true of all aspects of my life.
I no longer, for instance feel the "need" to tell most people how many firearms I have, or what martial arts I've studied, and I certainly feel no need to tell anyone how many sex partners I've had, or exactly what we've done.
Different direction.
Because emotions surrounding it can be so charged, sometimes discretion is indicated.
Heinlein again: "A pet skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on 'being frank'."
Heinlein's full of foolish quotes that are repeated with relish by those who haven't really considered the implications of the quote. Here's another one: "Moderation is for monks." Really? Getting up in the early AM to pray for hours on your knees on a hard wooden floor is "moderate"? Self-flagellation is "moderate"? Vows of silence are "moderate"? Heinlein: good sound bites, but not true.
Now, it seems evident to *me* that it's unwise to assume that what's true of me is true of anyone else, except for those things that MUST happen because I'm human. Be careful what you "guarentee".
Responding to a comment written over 2 1/2 years ago! :)
Agreed, for the most part. Though I'll defend his remarks (somewhat weakly) as being made by a character, and not in his own voice.
People care about what other people think of their views on sex. Many people are worked up about it. You may well be "the exception that proves the rule."
I myself have lied about sex. "No, I don't find her attractive in that way." "Oh no, I've never considered doing that."
The better thing to do is to keep one's mouth shut about what is private, that one doesn't want discussed. But the vacuum is imperfect.
"prohibited activity requires lying" immediately brought to mind something said by a dead Roman philosopher which I cannot pronounce but translates as "He who is allowed to sin a little, sins less." I wonder if I would be a better-adjusted old fart if'n I had been a less-obedient youth...
Today's word verification is "minglo": that feeling you get after sex by yourself. Sorry, the after dinner libation is kicking in.
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