Better And Better

If you don't draw yours, I won't draw mine. A police officer, working in the small town that he lives in, focusing on family and shooting and coffee, and occasionally putting some people in jail.

Monday, March 12, 2007

A word to the gentlemen:

(This is going to eventually get a little coarse, so steel yourselves.)

Guys, we've got it pretty good.

We're stronger than women. We've got better metabolic rates. We can pee standing up. We don't bleed once a month. We don't have to put up with the difficulties and pains of pregnancy and/or childbirth. We don't have mammary glands that have to be accounted for when running, fighting, or wearing crossdraw.

We don't have to wear the ridiculous styles and makeup that women seem to have to wear to be considered presentable. We get paid better, on average. We get to lead our families, generally, and keep our surnames. We also get to be more base in our activities.

But nature hates a vacuum, so there are some little checks and balances to even out the books.
Here's one, whch we need to take to heart, and hold dear: Women hold the keys when it comes to sex.

Oh, I know that there are anomolies (same-sex encounters, gigilos, and hyper-aggressive women on passive males being some of them), but for the most part, this is an iron-clad rule. So what does that mean?

Well, primarily, it means that, regardless of how fast she's been egging you on to get physical with her in an intimate manner (in street patois, to "get jiggy wit' it"), she gets to say "stop" at any point (yes, even then), and you have to cease all physical contact with her. Sometimes, this may seem difficult to do, especially when you've observed evidence that she was ready and willing to get to this point. No one's calling you a liar-- she may well have been. But at this point, she's hit the brakes, and so must you, bud.

If you can't handle that, go handle yourself.

Twice in the last week I've spoken to women who have had experiences like that.
Both women will bear scars for life. Consider how invasive it feels to find out someone has been in your car, or your house, or your room, without your permission. Now consider that person having been in your body without permission. I don't care if you're the Town Bicycle ("everybody's had a ride!")-- that's a type of invasion that most of us guys can't even comprehend. (Male rape happens, but it's thankfully pretty rare.) And we can water it down and call it "Date Rape," but it's still rape, aka "Sexual Assault," and as a cop, it's my duty to charge those who do it with a felony.

Ask me if it bothers me in the least to charge a guy whose make-out session got out of hand, and the girl who was happy to take him to Third Base said "Stop" before he rounded in to Home.
Does it bother me? Not. One. Bit.

Think about this: would you want your companion or anyone to watch you have sexual congress with, say, a vinyl doll? No? Kinda embarrassing? Then why would a woman who has withdrawn her consent be any different? If her will is withdrawn, then you're using her body as an object --a recepticle-- like a merkin. Nasty thing to make her watch you do. But unlike a mere object, she'll be hurt by this act.

If it makes you feel gallant to stop, go ahead and feel good about yourself. But don't kid yourself-- you didn't do her a favor; you did your duty as a man. If you had failed to do so, you have failed your duty as a man, both ethically and legally.

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At Tuesday, March 13, 2007 2:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Matt, this was very well written. I hope that maybe some people will think about what you've said and follow it. I think too many guys (I don't want to call them "men") feel that its no big deal, or that date rape isn't really a rape. Or that, at some point, the girl looses the right to say "stop".

I think the way you wrote it, may actually get some of them to understand it.


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