Subpoena duces tecum

Hey, all you process servers and defense attorneys! Listen up:

If you want your witness to show up for court, and provide that valuable testimony and documents, don't piss him off.

Don't lie to him to get him to show up and be served.

Don't lie to him to get him to show up at court when he is served.

Don't serve subpeonas that don't follow the rules as outlined by your local jurisdiction.

Don't serve subpeonas one business day prior to your court date.

And don't drop off your bogus subpeonas and expect them to be served on your account.

While getting subpeona'd is a pain the arse, I don't dodge them. That said, I don't feel the need to teach defense attorneys how to do their job, either. Just because you put the word subpeona at the top of your paper, doesn't make it one that you can enforce.

That said, I'll dutifully show up in court to provide testimony, if I have to. It's part of the job.