Upside down.

After working a full night and then some at the PD on Sunday, I hurried home, and changed clothes and went to the Fire Department. After doing a thorough vehicle check on a new piece of apparatus that we had just gotten second-hand from a larger department, I went to get my physical.

One of the reasons that I went to get my physical is because September is National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, and it was time to see if my PSA had fluctuated at all. The last couple of years, my Prostate Specific Antigen has been so very low that the chances of me being one of the one in six men who develop prostate cancer are extremely low.  I get this every year. No, I've not had the digital-rectal exam in some time. Yes, the PSA test has a certain false result rate. But over the years, getting multiple negatives tends to show a trend line.  Get yourself checked, gentlemen. It was part of the same blood draw that they did for my overall workup. My insurance pays for the wellness check once a year for FREE, and that's not at all uncommon. One single stick in my left arm, and I get to find out all kinds of things about myself. You need to do this.  And you need to donate to the outstanding fundraising efforts being coordinated by my good friends for Kilted To Kick Cancer.

While at the doctor's office, I endured his very nice, but kind of embarrassing praise about my recent weight loss. I guess that 30 lbs is a lot to most people, but when you start at over 300 pounds, it's really just 10%.  My doc asked what I've been doing, and I shrugged and said that I've been moving around a little more, eating a little less, and I've cut carbohydrates in my diet. This last part makes me sad, because it's akin to scrubbing on a stain for 10 minutes, and realizing that you're actually making progress. Dang it-- I'm going to have to keep at it. :(

As you can see from my trend line on my geeky homemade spreadsheet, the progress is slow but sure.  But no one wants to read about someone's diet; I apologize.

I then took the Fire Chief's city truck in to get serviced, and found myself waiting in the lobby of the dealer maintenance department for 2 hours, realizing my blunder: I hadn't eaten all night and all morning, because I was NPO for the blood draw! Curses!  I stopped on the way back to the FD and ate heartily of sandwiches without their buns.

Getting to sleep after 3:00pm, I expected to get up and work on my EMT class online from about 11:00pm until 7:00am. I woke at 3:30am-- I had slept the clock around. I've not done that in a long time. But I'd been up for about 23 hours, too.

So it is that I'm now finishing my weekend kind of upside down. I got up this morning at about 1:30am, when I should have gotten up 10 hours or more before. Today is going to be rough at work.

_______________________

I just now was getting my workout gear together, for a half-hour workout before my wife and kids get up. The majority of my marriage, I've been on opposite shifts from my wife. I have learned how to gather clothes in the dark pretty well. By accident, I've learned the value of a blacklight flashlight.  It turns out that I can shine a pretty bright UV flashlight around the bedroom as I get my stuff together, and this doesn't bother my sleeping wife the same as even a weak white light would. The reflected UV light just doesn't seem to penetrate the eyelids. So now I've got one on my bedside table.

Just right.

With those storms moving west to east, we've been getting thunderstorms for the last three hours. A LOT of lightning and attendant thunder. That kind of action is expected at the end of a day where the temps got to 103.

The thunder has my head lolling. Lots of needed rain. It's my night off. I'm for bed.

This may get a bit sketchy.

Off at 0600. Have to sit on a board of review at 1000.
Have to get some sleep and pack before going to work at 1800.
Then work twelve hours.
Then get off, drive to OKC, and meet with my friends. Then we really travel, east to St. Louis, to meet my other friends at a little shindig that I'll be reporting on. Media credentials should be awaiting me.

Then, back on Monday, in time to work on Monday evening.

We'll, uh, see how this goes.

Oh, yeah-- my phone broke. So I'll be hitting the phone shop to get another one of those, too. Instead of sleeping. Crap.

Wednesday night random thoughts.

--So apparently a pretty funny spare actor named Daniel von Bargen decided to check out, and shot himself in the temple with a .38 , only to find that it didn't work.  Still alive and now blind, the guy called 911 and summoned help. This confounds me. First, because all the news reports reference his work in Seinfeld rather than in Malcolm In The Middle, but second, because the guy had to put down his gun, find his phone (he was blinded by the shot) and call 911, and then wanted them to come help him. Amazing. He had been unhappy about needing some toes amputated, before. I would not have guessed that he would find life more worth living after having caused brain damage through a failed suicide attempt. Huh. I'm not trying to make the case that he should have just shot himself again; I'm merely pointing out that the logic that had him shoot once would seem to me to induce a second shot. Perhaps he didn't have a second round chambered?  Interesting.

--Well-cooked lentils are worth eating. Seriously.

--I have to evaluate what best plan to use to bolster my mom's fence against my brother's dog that he's leaving there. She's my next door neighbor. I don't want to have to chase the damned hound whenever it gets out. This means some work today. And money. I'm thinking about buying an Invisible Fence setup and running the wire along on the fence with staple gun.

--Why don't we standardize the buttons on the device that we swipe our credit cards or debit cards in? The questions are always different. The soft keys are in different places. One machine says: "Your total is $25.81*. Is  this okay? Push 'YES' if you wish to proceed." The next machine says: "Your total is $25.81. Do you want cash back? Push 'YES' if so." And so on and so forth. Look. I just want to swipe the card, get my receipt, and go. Why am I having to look at each proprietary system? When I get into another manual transmission vehicle that I've not driven before, I don't need to study on the fact that the accelerator is on the right, the brake is in the middle, and the clutch is on the left. Can't we just standardize these things?

--It was 80 degrees today.

--My shift partner and best work friend is leaving to go to another agency soon. I have cracked the ice and permitted him to see this blog. It's kind of fun finally letting someone from work know about this thing. He's sworn to secrecy, and I know that he won't tell. He's a great guy.

--There is some evidence that I've been burning the candle from both ends. I don't buy it, though. I've been pretty lazy.

--What's your experience with the durability and corrosion resistance with the firearms finish known as "French Gray?"

--I'm going back to sleep. Need to bank it for the weekend. I should actually be working on my take-home test on Homeland Security.


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*Note: This is the root of all evil.

Vivid dreams.

Lately I've been waking up with clear memories of my vivid dreams. And, unlike before, they're actually pretty decent. Mostly B movies, but with happy endings that don't fill me with dread. Uh, that's a switch.

I don't know what all these dreams mean. Oh, I certainly don't believe that dreams are foreshadowing of anything to come-- that's bollocks-- but I surely do know that our subconscious minds will chew on stuff a lot when we let our guards down. It is more remarkable to me that the dreams are ones that I can recall than that they are generally happy-ending dreams.

I suspect that it's just that I've recently changed my sleeping schedule.

For the most part, I tend to think of dreaming as sleep's in-flight-movie, and nothing more. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's forgettable, sometimes it's terrible, and sometimes you can't hear the dialogue because the kid behind you keeps singing, over and over, the chorus to "Tiny Dancer," using the wrong lyrics. (Ever awaken from a nightful of earworm? It's a particularly nasty form of nightmare.)

At any rate, even though last night's dream did involve the ever-present 200 lb Trigger Pull and the Hammer Dropping In Slow Motion, Failing To Detonate The Primer (two themes so common in my dreams that I swear my REM is interrupted by my rolling of my eyes at the recurrence, these nights), I still persevered.

Well good morning, class.

I know, I know-- by the time most of you all read this (but for those well west of me), it's Post meridiem, but I just got up, and any time I did so, it's morning. See? The coffee's brewing. What's that you say? "Matt, you brew coffee any old time you feel like it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, thrice on Sundays." Well, yes, that's technically true. I like coffee. And breakfast. I think that the best part about working deep nights is that I get to have breakfast twice a day-- once when I get up, and once when everyone else thinks it's breakfast time.

My schedule just changed, and I get a couple of evening shifts, from which I get off at 1:00AM. Last night, I was in bed by 3:30AM!! The difference of getting to go to bed in the darkness is astounding. I slept through all four stages of sleep, without an antihistamine to help. I dreamt, vividly.

I woke up feeling quite refreshed, and with my attitude --which was rather surly last night-- reset.

I've got to run to the school to see my daughter win awards for her academic prowess, and such, and I'm actually pretty tickled to do it. We're all in our places, with bright shining faces. This is the way / We start out our day.

Murderous rage.

"Is Keisha there?" the voice on my cell phone asks.

"There is no one named Keisha who has anything to do with this phone number," I tell the guy on the phone. "I've had this phone for 8 months, and I don't know a Keisha. Please stop calling m-..."

[click.]

I work deep nights.
I have children.
I have to keep my phone on.
I have taken to turning off the house line, and leaving the cell phone by my head while I sleep.

I've been getting calls from these people for the last month, asking for Keisha. I'm sure she had some problem paying her bills, and somehow they got my number from her. Mistake? Past owner of this number? I don't know. But I have 300 minutes a month on my cheapo cell plan, and they get about 10, right now.

They also wake my butt up in the middle of my sleep during the day.

And nobody answers when I call the number back on my house line to request that they stop it.

I'm on the Do Not Call list.

There is a pink tint emanating from the edges of my vision.

Sleeping long.

I've always said that that you need more sleep when you work nights and sleep days. I've been adjusting to deep nights for a couple of weeks.

Yesterday morning I ended my night shift, returned home to my empty house*, and called a buddy. He and his wife had some errands planned today, and invited me to come along for lunch in their new car. I went along, and we enjoyed a beautiful sunny spring Saturday with blue skies and a high about 70 degrees. We had some Asian food, and came back to enjoy a beer and conversation on the back porch. Not wanting to wear out my welcome, I started for home.

On the way home, I thought, why not, while in town, stop for a six pack of good beer? The German deli in town offers a fine selection, and I chose Belgian white, and Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. (They let you mix six packs there.) As I was checking out, a girl before me walked in and ordered a Reuben sandwich before going to pick out a six pack of IPA. (No, Tamara was not visiting. I looked twice.) I stopped. Why hadn't I remembered that they made them there? The cook said he could get me a Reuben out fast. He did.

Good lord. I can't remember the last time I ate a sandwich that good.

After one IPA, I sat down in my bed to check email, at about 19:30 hours. I had been up for about 26 hours. My belly was full. I had a beer in my belly.

Sometime after midnight I woke up and folded the laptop and put it in the floor.

At a little after 09:30 this morning I woke up. 14 hours? Really? I wouldn't have thought it possible.

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*Wife and kids left Friday to visit relatives for Spring Break/Easter.