Better And Better

If you don't draw yours, I won't draw mine.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Well, that's cool.

As I'm now 40, I finally got into the doctor's for my 40,000 mile checkup. "Check me out from head to toe," I asked.

The doc did the normal poking and vitals-taking, and looking, and ordered a bunch of blood tests to see what all was going on inside me. I allowed that I actually felt fine.

"As to the prostate exam," he finally said, "we use the Prostate Specific Antigen test.  The PSA is a much better indicator than feeling, through a rubber glove, and through a colon wall, a specific gland which we have personally  probably never checked before, for change. The digital-rectal exam is 60% accurate. We can do better than that. So we'll just look at your blood, and if the PSA is too high, we'll deal with it from there."*

I looked at him, realizing that I got to leave my pants on.

I pointed at my face in a circular motion. "This is not the look of a patient who is disappointed."

They should advertise this from billboards along the highway. "We'll check your prostate, without putting our finger where the sun doesnt' shine."

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*Yes, I'm aware of a fairly high incidence of false positives. But that's okay; you run it again, and if it's still positive, you run an MRI, CAT, and/or sonograph.

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7 Comments:

At Sunday, January 29, 2012 1:03:00 AM, Blogger Shepherd K said...

You just made my day. Having had the "finger" at 16 for a pilot physical, I have dreaded reaching my 40s and the regular checks.

 
At Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:01:00 AM, Blogger MSgt B said...

Um...I wish the military docs had known about that years ago.

On second thought, they may have, and just ignored it for the sake of tradition.

 
At Sunday, January 29, 2012 9:43:00 AM, Blogger Old NFO said...

Good to hear everything is working, and yes, get checked early and often!!!

 
At Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:57:00 PM, Blogger Matt G said...

Old NFO, I haven't gotten the test results. I may be a walking dead man. :)

But then again, we all are, aren't we? ;)

 
At Tuesday, January 31, 2012 10:51:00 AM, Blogger John B said...

Wow Matt! I figured you for about 35 or so, then I remembered the wine cooler post and had you bracketed closer to my 50 years. Happy Belated Birthday.

 
At Tuesday, January 31, 2012 10:48:00 PM, Blogger Matt G said...

@John B:
What wine cooler post? I never wrote about any... oh. Damn. Had to bring that up, didn't you? I'd almost forgotten. (Not really. Embarrassment that deep never leaves your marrow.)

 
At Saturday, February 25, 2012 1:00:00 PM, Anonymous Kristen said...

Such a great article which
The doc did the normal poking and vitals-taking, and looking, and ordered a bunch of blood tests to see . In which The PSA is a much better indicator than feeling, through a rubber glove, and through a colon wall, a specific gland which we have personally probably never checked before, for change. Thanks for sharing this article.

 

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