Better And Better

If you don't draw yours, I won't draw mine.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Posted in haste.

Among those things not my fault:

That:

--The girl you met at the bar who gave you a ride to her house ditched you, afoot and drunk.

--Your wife, who is unlicensed, has no driver's license, yet you let her drive your car home because you got drunk at the party. (That's two citations, folks.)

--Your buddy offered you a job at 3:00AM, after you had tied one on. He then gave you a couple of shots as a "hair of the dog" before you went to work. At a construction site. At 4:00AM.

--The three dogs that YOU bought, and which YOU brought into a housing development community (read: suburbia), and which YOU refuse to train at all, bark raucously at every little bunny and night jogger and low-flying jet that passes by after midnight, causing complaints by your neighbors. Legitimate complaints.

--Your dog keeps jumping or digging under your fence, and getting out.

--You don't like that we read to you, as to a child, the Americans With Disabilities rights notification at the jail during book-in, even though you could read it yourself, you say.

--You find the handcuffs uncomfortable, despite the fact that I have loosened them twice, and carefully double-locked them each time.

--You find that the back seat cage in a patrol car is cramped and uncomfortable.

--You don't believe that there was any reason to being pulled over because you were doing nothing wrong, and this is harassment... even though you have NO taillights, and are driving a black car at night.

--Every cop you've every met (and there have been a lot of them) was "dirty," and you don't like any of us.

--My race doesn't match yours, and you're willing to bet that was the reason I pulled you over. At night. At 100mph closing speed.

--The law states that you shall perform value X, and you displayed behavior of value (n - X).

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9 Comments:

At Saturday, May 24, 2008 10:23:00 AM, Blogger Old NFO said...

/snark/ OF COURSE it's your fault... sigh...

Personal responsibility? Not me, it's somebody elses fault, I didn't do what you said I did...

Thanks for what you do Matt! I sure as hell wouldn't have the patience you do.

 
At Saturday, May 24, 2008 10:40:00 AM, Blogger Matt G said...

Aw, NFO, that wasn't a plea for appreciation, it was more of a kick at the ground for blame. But thanks, just the same. :)

 
At Saturday, May 24, 2008 6:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't you know that in order to pull someone over you have to be of no race at all? After all, you are either one of 'them', or you are a sellout to 'them'.

 
At Sunday, May 25, 2008 4:55:00 AM, Blogger Larry said...

Sounds like your life is just a COPS rerun.
You folks don't get to deal with the general public at their best. Thanks for the job you do.

 
At Sunday, May 25, 2008 5:58:00 AM, Blogger Evil Lunch Lady said...

I wonder how many will try to sue?? Some just need to stop breathing.

 
At Monday, May 26, 2008 7:45:00 AM, Blogger Rogue Medic said...

When I was a teenager, I was not always on my best behavior. Almost all of the police I encountered, in my official duties as a public nuisance, treated me with respect.

Of course, I didn't call them names and engage in the childish behaviors you have described.

 
At Tuesday, May 27, 2008 6:45:00 AM, Anonymous homebru said...

Ok, you lost me there.

How is driving without a license two violations?

 
At Tuesday, May 27, 2008 8:40:00 AM, Blogger Matt G said...

Unlicensed driver: violation of "License Required".

Passenger/owner: violation of "Permitting Unauthorized Person To Drive".

 
At Tuesday, May 27, 2008 2:09:00 PM, Anonymous homebru said...

Huh. Learn something new every time I turn this thing on.

 

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