Better And Better

If you don't draw yours, I won't draw mine. A police officer, working in the small town that he lives in, focusing on family and shooting and coffee, and occasionally putting some people in jail.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Well, that's cool.

As I'm now 40, I finally got into the doctor's for my 40,000 mile checkup. "Check me out from head to toe," I asked.

The doc did the normal poking and vitals-taking, and looking, and ordered a bunch of blood tests to see what all was going on inside me. I allowed that I actually felt fine.

"As to the prostate exam," he finally said, "we use the Prostate Specific Antigen test.  The PSA is a much better indicator than feeling, through a rubber glove, and through a colon wall, a specific gland which we have personally  probably never checked before, for change. The digital-rectal exam is 60% accurate. We can do better than that. So we'll just look at your blood, and if the PSA is too high, we'll deal with it from there."*

I looked at him, realizing that I got to leave my pants on.

I pointed at my face in a circular motion. "This is not the look of a patient who is disappointed."

They should advertise this from billboards along the highway. "We'll check your prostate, without putting our finger where the sun doesnt' shine."

__________________________
*Yes, I'm aware of a fairly high incidence of false positives. But that's okay; you run it again, and if it's still positive, you run an MRI, CAT, and/or sonograph.

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7 Comments:

At Sunday, January 29, 2012 1:03:00 AM, Blogger Shepherd K said...

You just made my day. Having had the "finger" at 16 for a pilot physical, I have dreaded reaching my 40s and the regular checks.

 
At Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:01:00 AM, Blogger MSgt B said...

Um...I wish the military docs had known about that years ago.

On second thought, they may have, and just ignored it for the sake of tradition.

 
At Sunday, January 29, 2012 9:43:00 AM, Blogger Old NFO said...

Good to hear everything is working, and yes, get checked early and often!!!

 
At Sunday, January 29, 2012 11:57:00 PM, Blogger Matt G said...

Old NFO, I haven't gotten the test results. I may be a walking dead man. :)

But then again, we all are, aren't we? ;)

 
At Tuesday, January 31, 2012 10:51:00 AM, Blogger John B said...

Wow Matt! I figured you for about 35 or so, then I remembered the wine cooler post and had you bracketed closer to my 50 years. Happy Belated Birthday.

 
At Tuesday, January 31, 2012 10:48:00 PM, Blogger Matt G said...

@John B:
What wine cooler post? I never wrote about any... oh. Damn. Had to bring that up, didn't you? I'd almost forgotten. (Not really. Embarrassment that deep never leaves your marrow.)

 
At Saturday, February 25, 2012 1:00:00 PM, Anonymous Kristen said...

Such a great article which
The doc did the normal poking and vitals-taking, and looking, and ordered a bunch of blood tests to see . In which The PSA is a much better indicator than feeling, through a rubber glove, and through a colon wall, a specific gland which we have personally probably never checked before, for change. Thanks for sharing this article.

 

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