Better And Better

If you don't draw yours, I won't draw mine. A police officer, working in the small town that he lives in, focusing on family and shooting and coffee, and occasionally putting some people in jail.

Thursday, December 08, 2011


Last night my wife and I ran some errands together, and dropped by the local gettin' place.  When I say "local," I mean to say that everyone in town goes to this store, and that it's kind of an informal gathering spot. One of the cashiers made some light joke about "I wish y'all would quit coming by my house all the time unannounced. Last time I barely got the guns and drugs hid in time." For some reason, this guy brings up my job whenever I come in off duty. He knows that I know that he's a pretty straight arrow, and to the best of my knowledge he's not had any problems with the law.

His co-worker then teased me that she had seen my mother (who is my next door neighbor) the other day, and that Mom had all kinds of bad stuff to reveal about me. Also clearly a joke. She finished with something to the extent of: "Oh yeah. She and I sure brought up old times!"

Good-naturedly, I responded, also tongue in cheek: "Old times? I didn't know you were on her caseload from before she retired from CPS."

Instantly, she ducked her head into her shoulders, turned her back toward her co-worker, and said, wide-eyed and sotto voce, "Is that where I knew her from? You know, that was all a big misunderstanding, and we got that straightened out, and they finally closed that case on me, you know..."

I quickly said that I had just been joking, but she kept talking, "I never realized that, the whole time we were talking..."

Cue the crickets.

I explained quickly that my mother had never discussed cases with me, and I fled the store. I found my wife halfway to the car, already. She turned to me, and we exclaimed, in sing-song unison: "Awk-ward!"

And we left.

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At Thursday, December 08, 2011 7:11:00 PM, Blogger Old NFO said...

Oops... :-)

At Thursday, December 08, 2011 7:12:00 PM, Blogger TBeck said...

One week my high school math teacher was out. The substitute for the first day was this nerdy fellow whose choice of sartorial colors and patterns would have made a drunk Scotsman blush.

The next day we had a new sub. This lady seemed much more normal. I made some wise-ass comment about how the guy from the day before sure dressed funny. She said, "Yeah, I know; he's my husband."


At Friday, December 09, 2011 8:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooohhh yeah. Try leaving town for a couple of years, coming back, and not doing your homework on who had died, who had been incarcerated, and who had a shotgun wedding followed by a very nasty separation. I was not one for small talk for a while after that . . .


At Friday, December 09, 2011 12:10:00 PM, Anonymous skidmark said...

Just saw "A Real Grownup Cries Sometimes" by following your link. Please hug your mom and tell her it's from all the kids, and a guy who spent just about as much time in the same trenches.

stay safe.

At Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:57:00 PM, Anonymous Jennifer said...

Bwahahaha! I could totally see this happening to you. LOL

At Monday, December 12, 2011 8:06:00 AM, Blogger Matt G said...

Yeah, but Jennifer, you've personally seen me step into a beartrap before, too, so it's not a hard thing for you to conjure up.

At Saturday, December 17, 2011 10:44:00 AM, Blogger charlotte g said...

Oh, Matt. I suspect I know who it is, because one of the clerks who used to wait on me all the time is never there lately when I come up to the counter....
What am I going to do with you?


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