Friends, I've tried.

I've tried so hard to keep my online pal StingRay from straying from the path of righteousness.

"Go play with science," I say. "Do something constructive," I beg. In response, I get venal heading straight to carnal.

"Okay, take up a hobby," I say. He starts making beer, and annoying his wife.

"Uh, take up social activism. Or better yet, try shooting for a hobby," I suggest.

He comes up with a plan to be vulgar and piss off hippies while simultaneously turning it into a shooting event. I outright vetoed that one.

Well, now he comes up with this theorem of the Holy Trinity Of What Makes For A Good Guy.

Has he got enough credits for his PhD in Lunacy, yet?

How LabRat must suffer.