Better And Better

If you don't draw yours, I won't draw mine. A police officer, working in the small town that he lives in, focusing on family and shooting and coffee, and occasionally putting some people in jail.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Wild turkey for breakfast.

When do you see lots of dove flying? The week before dove season.
When do you see lots of croissants on sale? The day after you start a no-carb diet.
When do you see wild turkey? The year you didn't get a turkey stamp.


Yesterday, I got home from my deep night shift, and was eating breakfast with my family, when I saw something out the window that surprised the heck out of me. Okay, not the fact that I really, really need to mow-- that's a given. (Hey, it's been raining a lot, lately, and... and... okay, I'm a lazy ass, and will do it right after I hit SEND on this post.)

What I saw was a wild turkey, strutting around.

Do I have a hunting license? Yep. Is it spring turkey season? Yep. Do I have a turkey stamp? Sure.
A: It's a hen. Spring season is gobblers only.
B: We live in town. Even if it were a gobbler, harvesting your own turkey is a no-no.
C. My wife would have thrown a fit, even if A and B were not at issue.

So we enjoyed taking pictures through the window. When it flew over the fence into the neighbor's yard, we took pictures over the fence as it strutted around on the neighbor's trampoline. My wife stood on a chair and caught some digital video of her as the neighbor's dog went charging up on the hen, causing her to run and then fly right over our heads. It's amazing how fast a 14 to 18 pound turkey can run and fly, cupping huge scoops of air in massive wings, sounding like enormous quail as they rise over your head. As I stood to my wife's right, the turkey missed my head peeking over the six-foot fence by about 2 feet-- I easily could have grabbed her feet as she passed over, to land in a distant pecan tree.

Wild kingdom.

You can almost see the thought bubble above the dog's head: "Aw, shucks!"

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At Monday, April 28, 2008 9:23:00 AM, Blogger SpeakerTweaker said...

Not to take any thunder away from your turkey experience (or your yard... what a slob;), but your neighbors have an awesome Border Collie!

That's a trip, though. Great big wild turkey in the suburban backyard.


At Monday, April 28, 2008 9:45:00 AM, Blogger JPG said...

Well writ, and the video was GREAT. It couldn't have been staged better with a professional camera operator and a poultry wrangler on the job.

I refer, of course, to the turkey's ambling along, away from the camera and doing a classic double take: a glance to her left, starting to go eyes front, then realizing there IS something important happening on the left. She reverses direction, makes haste, and breaks into flight, all in one smooth sequence.

Only thing lacking was any overt excitement on the part of the Border Collie. Looked as if he was just going over to check out this visitor. I think that any of OUR dogs would have perceived "BREAKFAST!" and been in full-cry pursuit, zero-to-full gallop in point rwo-six second.


At Monday, April 28, 2008 9:46:00 AM, Blogger Matt G said...

Yeah, he'd be a lot nicer if he wouldn't bark all the time, and try to bite my legs whenever I go feed it when they're out of town. Frickin' ingrate.

At Monday, April 28, 2008 10:23:00 AM, Blogger Turk Turon said...

Oh, that kind of Wild Turkey for breakfast!

At Monday, April 28, 2008 7:13:00 PM, Anonymous LabRat said...

I feel your pain. The elk come down into this neighborhood once the snow accumulates enough at their preferred elevation to make food too rough a go. Thus, the common midwinter exchange:

"You think the neighbors aren't going to notice, eh?"
*two minutes of snarled profanity*

As for the dog... eh, you want birdy, get a retriever. You want something to care deeply and profoundly about every moving object in the area, and try and direct them, get a Border Collie...

At Tuesday, April 29, 2008 9:29:00 AM, Anonymous jimbob86 said...

Trust me, grabbing that bird's feet would have been a BAD idea. That bird would have beat you severely about the head and shoulders with its wings..... attempting to take huge scoops of you, instead of air....... trust me, it will leave bruises. I know. I bowled a tom over with a 12 guage a few years back and dropped the gun and ran out and picke him up by one foot. And he woke up, and beat the crap out of me. I refused to let got, and fell atop him to pin his wings and cut his throat..... post mortum exam revealed a single pellet hit on the back of his head, which did not penetrate, and the knife wound. Just KO'ed him for a few seconds......


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